The song, The Window is a recording on my Solo @ Studio 19 CD. One common question I get about this song is what does the line “I had my clothes down to my knees” mean? Ya, especially in the church folks get a little squirmy with that line, hee hee hee. When I wrote The Window in 1992, I thought it was about a woman, a recluse, fantasizing about a man who she was watching through a window in the building adjacent to hers. The line “I had my clothes down to my knees” is describing emotional nakedness. The woman was afraid of relationship; she was incapable of emotional intimacy. And only in her imagination could she entertain having a deep, meaningful relationship with another person.

I was bald when I wrote The Window, battling cancer. I remember feeling totally shut down to any feelings except for fear and loneliness. I had a boyfriend, who is now my husband, but we had no concept of intimacy back then. We were still operating with-in the dysfunctional perimeters of our past relationships. Neither one of us knew Jesus Christ, we were still both walking through life living for ourselves. It’s all we knew.

It wasn’t until ten years later that I understood the real story behind my window song ... When I wrote The Window, I was sick and had good reason to believe that I might die. I was in survival mode; a familiar place being raised up in the throes of alcoholism and other dysfunctions. My heart was shut tighter than a drum and I wouldn’t let anyone in when I needed love and support the most … then, ten years later, through God’s prompting, I understood that the woman in the song was me reaching out to Him.
In the end of the song, I was still crouching beneath the sill, but at least I could finally see myself crouching, I could see myself in that naked, vulnerable place, a step forward for sure. I believe before we can have any kind of intimacy, we must be willing to know ourselves. And the only way to that place is to allow the One Who made us show us (Psalm 139:24-25).

The Window is a song I was writing about myself and didn’t even know it. Ten years later after leaving that song in the “closet of old songs” the Lord brought me back to it. With The Window song Jesus showed me where I was desperately yearning to be whole. It broke me. I love those moments with my Lord, when brokenness is sweet because it’s clearly being held by Him ... My brokenness is safe with Him. That is intimacy at its very core.

If you know Jesus, you know that this story has a very happy ending. Only in Christ can we be given eyes to see ourselves and a want in our hearts to change. Only with Jesus can we be sure that we are safe in the most vulnerable places. Only through our Savior are we given brand new lives, sanctification and the key to eternity.

When you listen to the Window, what do you hear? Can you relate? I would love to hear your heart! Please share. L